I have never been one to set goals and stick to them. So, at 43, why start now, right? Wrong. On this New Year’s Eve, I am going to set one goal. One that I should be able to keep up with and fulfill.
My goal this year is to be good to me. Sounds selfish, well it is, kind of.
Being good to me means several things. It means losing those extra pounds, it means eating better, it means quitting smoking, it means keeping up with my medication, and it means being fearless. It also means being good to others because I am being good to me.
My philosophy is that people treat other people poorly because they treat themselves poorly. I don’t want to be that person. I believe that people treat others selfishly because they treat themselves selfishly. Are you following me? Every action that we project out into the world is one that we reflect upon ourselves.
I believe in karma-what goes around, comes around. I also believe in the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I am going to be good to me so that others can be good to themselves.
First thing on my list is to forgive myself for all of the bad things that I have done to myself. This is going to be hard because I have a lot to forgive. I am going to start by forgiving myself for being who I am…a woman with bipolar disorder. After all, it is not really my fault, but I still feel guilty about it. I forgive myself for not finding out about it sooner.
I also forgive myself for not being a good sister. How could I have known that we shared the same blood when no one told me? I also forgive myself for not being a good daughter. I think that I have the right to feel a sense of abandonment after being put up for adoption, even if it all worked out for the best. I also forgive myself for not being a good wife. It’s hard being the wife of a police officer when every phone call late at night could be the one. Like the late night phone call you received announcing your father’s death or your aunt’s death or even your mom’s. I forgive myself for being afraid of the late night phone call.
In 2010, I am only going to make one goal. That goal is to be good to me.
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incredible, glennette!!! from a writer, sister, wife & daughter–this is incredible. when can we hook up?
Thank you so much. It really means a lot. Let's get together soon! 2010 is my year to be good to me!
Hmm. I definitely feel the same way about self first. I look around at my kids and their mothers, my friends, sisters and associates and I can see their progress. But a lot of their progress comes from my hard work. Then I look at myself, my progress and I realize that I left myself behind. So I understand where you are coming from and it's not selfish, it's a necessity.
Thanks Once Again.