The Blessings of Unemployment

Don’t get me wrong, being unemployed and trying to live off of a tiny fraction of your former income sucks. It sucks big time! I hate not having somewhere to be every morning, even if the job was less than satisfying. It was nice being able to sleep in, the first couple of weeks, but even that gets old. Did I mention the lack of money?

Through it all, there were some positive things that have come from my untimely stint. I have had more time to spend with my husband and children. My daughter will be going away to school in a little more than a year and I appreciate having some extra time. This year, I have been able to become a more active parent at her school, Duke Ellington School of the Arts.  Also, I am glad that I have been able to spend time more time with my son. I have had to do battle with DC Public Schools in order to get him much needed educational support. I am glad that I have had the time to do it.

While I have been catching up on family time, I have not been sitting idly by waiting for that magical job offer. I decided to do something else. I organized UXCamp DC 2010 with the help of some friends. It was an awesome experience, I learned a lot, and, most importantly, I met expanded my networking circle. I would not have been able to accomplish this had I been working a full-time job.

Now that UXCamp is over, it’s back to the task of looking for work, but, I do it with an additional set of skills that I am sure I will get to use again soon.

So, my advice to you, if you are unemployed or underemployed, is to do something that you are passionate about. Take this time to relax, re-focus, and re-charge. Your next opportunity is waiting out there for you. Organize something, write something, do something.

OMFG! Stop Calling People Bipolar!

UPDATE: Kevin and Thom read my email on-air. Thank you and I accept your apology.

The Sports Fix

Today, I am listening to the radio. I am listening to a ESPN 980′s The Sports Fix to be exact. The topic at the time is Gilbert Arenas and his stupidity for carrying a handgun into the locker room. So far, I am following along with the show and agreeing with most of the views and comments.

Then, all of a sudden, there is was…”Gilbert Arenas must be bipolar or something.” WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Yes, I was pissed. Yes, I am pissed. I marched downstairs to ask my husband what radio station he was listening to and told him why I was so pissed. I told him that I am sick and tired of people saying, “they must be bipolar” every time some idiot celebrity does something stupid. How does being an asshole with a gun equal bipolar disorder?

Here is what I wrote to The Sports Fix:

I enjoy listening to your show, I am not a sports fan but, my husband is. However, I was appalled this afternoon when one of you referred to Gilbert Arenas as being Bipolar because of his recent behavior. As a person that suffers from this disease, I am disgusted by the overuse of the term whenever anyone displays some sort of schism in their personality. Bipolar disorder is not a personality disorder, it is a mood disorder that can cause great damage to a person’s life if not end it all entirely.

I would appreciate it if, in the future, you would refrain from using that term unless you actually know that the person has been diagnosed as such.

I am so sick and tired of the use of bipolar being the code word for crazy. Bipolar disorder is a very real mental illness that affects moods, not personalities. If you don’t know, ask about it.

My Outlook for 2010

I have never been one to set goals and stick to them. So, at 43, why start now, right? Wrong. On this New Year’s Eve, I am going to set one goal. One that I should be able to keep up with and fulfill.

My goal this year is to be good to me. Sounds selfish, well it is, kind of.

Being good to me means several things. It means losing those extra pounds, it means eating better, it means quitting smoking, it means keeping up with my medication, and it means being fearless. It also means being good to others because I am being good to me.

My philosophy is that people treat other people poorly because they treat themselves poorly. I don’t want to be that person. I believe that people treat others selfishly because they treat themselves selfishly. Are you following me? Every action that we project out into the world is one that we reflect upon ourselves.

I believe in karma-what goes around, comes around. I also believe in the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I am going to be good to me so that others can be good to themselves.

First thing on my list is to forgive myself for all of the bad things that I have done to myself. This is going to be hard because I have a lot to forgive. I am going to start by forgiving myself for being who I am…a woman with bipolar disorder. After all, it is not really my fault, but I still feel guilty about it. I forgive myself for not finding out about it sooner.

I also forgive myself for not being a good sister. How could I have known that we shared the same blood when no one told me? I also forgive myself for not being a good daughter. I think that I have the right to feel a sense of abandonment after being put up for adoption, even if it all worked out for the best. I also forgive myself for not being a good wife. It’s hard being the wife of a police officer when every phone call late at night could be the one. Like the late night phone call you received announcing your father’s death or your aunt’s death or even your mom’s. I forgive myself for being afraid of the late night phone call.

In 2010, I am only going to make one goal. That goal is to be good to me.